I was recomended to read this book during the Da Vinci trainings. Tomas said it changes the way how you think about love and what is needed to cultivate it.
Here is my action plan to changing your approach to loved ones based on the book The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm could look something like this:
- Step 1: Recognize that love is not a feeling, but an action. Love is not something that happens to you, but something that you do. It requires effort, attention, care, and respect. It also requires you to be aware of your own needs, feelings, and motives, and to be honest with yourself and your partner123
- Step 2: Learn to love yourself. Before you can love another person, you need to love yourself. This means accepting yourself as you are, with your strengths and weaknesses, and being comfortable with your own solitude. It also means developing your own interests, talents, and passions, and pursuing your own growth and happiness123
- Step 3: Practice the art of loving in different ways. Love is not limited to romantic love, but can be expressed in many forms, such as brotherly love, motherly love, erotic love, and love of God. Each form of love has its own characteristics, challenges, and rewards, and can enrich your life and your relationships. You can practice loving by being kind, compassionate, generous, and respectful to others, by listening to them, understanding them, and helping them, and by sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences with them123
- Step 4: Overcome the obstacles to love in modern society. Fromm argues that the capitalist system, which values profit, competition, and consumption, is detrimental to the art of loving, as it fosters selfishness, greed, isolation, and alienation. He also criticizes the culture of conformity, which pressures people to fit in, to follow the trends, and to seek approval from others, rather than being authentic and original. He suggests that to overcome these obstacles, you need to develop a critical and independent mind, to resist the influence of mass media and propaganda, and to cultivate a sense of social responsibility and solidarity123
- Step 5: Evaluate your progress and adjust your actions accordingly. The art of loving is not a static or fixed state, but a dynamic and ongoing process.